I'm around.  I'm just stressed... and blogging would probably help... but oh well.  I'm still reading.  Love you all

I am reading your blogs.. sorry I haven't wanted to write anything.  Just wanted to let you know I'm still around

I totally suck at sticking with my plan. I had to go to lunch yesterday with my boss and I cOuld have gotten a salad but instead I opted for a chicken panini. I ate half of it and put my chips in the community snack drawer and continued with my fasting until I got home. If i Hadn't eaten anything in the first place I would have kept up the will power, but when I got home I had to eat the rest of that sandwich. I had popcorn at the movies like planned, but with no butter! I have a date tonight and he is taking me to Mexican. I'm planning to eat only a granola bar before. I'm sitting in a defensive driving class all day so since I can't get any exercise I figure I should probably try not to stuff my face.

I'm not sure if I've shared with you my irrational fear of change.  Like.. I moved, and I continued to go to my old grocery store on the other side of town because I knew where everything was and it was comfortable.  I had to psych myself up to go to a) even fill out the gym membership, and b) try the gym closer to my work since I had never been there.  I remember having to walk behind someone slowly to make sure I could see what we were supposed to do... where to scan our card, where the locker rooms were.  It gives me anxiety, seriously!  Anyway, there is a gym that is SUPER nice near my work.  I've always had access to it but I've never gone because I was afraid.  Maybe it is fear of losing control.  So I wanted to run after work today and I went to my normal gym and as soon as I walked in I realized that they apparently don't know how to use the air conditioner.  It was 75 degrees!  Might as well just run outside!  I wanted to actually finish my run... and I didnt want anything stopping me, so I left and decided to go to another gym.  In some split second decision, I had decided to go to the one I'd never been to.  It was super scary... but I called a friend who had been there and she basically walked me through where to park, how to get tickets stamped, etc.  The equipment had TVs on all the machines... it made my day!  My run was much easier than normal as I was able to tune out the monotony!  I should have run for 28 minutes, but ended up doing 25.  Thats okay, 3 minutes is nothing, and I'll pick it up next run.

Food wise... I didn't have my slimfast or my pear, but I did eat trail mix when I got home from work.. so I probably evened out on the calories for the day.

Today- fasting until dinner... which I am hoping is popcorn at the movies and not something real.

Yesterday did not go as planned.  Crisis in the office, as always, and so when there was cake in the breakroom I jumped for it like a starved child.  At least it was a pretty small piece.  Probably an extra 300 calories.  And I was supposed to go to the gym, but work kept me at the office until 8:15, so I snacked on almonds til I went over to my friends place for pizza.  I ate 3 slices... not huge pieces, and they were on wheat dough, but I also had a glass of wine so I don't even want to know what the damage was there.  I'm on my period... is that an excuse?  NO

Today...
Breakfast- 190
Slimfast

Snack- 60
Blow Pop

Lunch- 300
Lean Cusine

Snack- 100
Pear

Dinner-350
Veggie Burger

Yesterday's meal plan was pretty darn close... except I had a JavaChip Frappucino light for lunch instead of the salad.  Probably the same number of calories, so I'm not worried about it.  The date went well.  It was our 2nd.  He didn't kiss me at the valet because it was super awkward, so when I got home I texted him to say "I really want to kiss you" because I am bold like that... and next thing I know he's calling me and he is in front of my house taking the "scenic route" home and stopping by for our first kiss.  It was very very cute.
Anyway.. needless to say I didn't have time to go to the gym, but I will today!!!  There is either a spin class at 645 which I love, or I could run, which I need to do.  I need to start running outside but its too hot in the south!!
Breakfast: 190
Slimfast

Snack: 200
Trail Mix

Lunch: 500
Lean Pocket
Salad

Snack: 50
Peach

Dinner: 300
Homemade pizza (I promise to only eat a little!!)

Total: 1240